Sometimes I have that moment where I look at Joe and think, Wow, is he not the most handsome guy in the world? I mean look at that face and those eyes!!!
It’s not just that I married a handsome guy 🙂 I’m attracted to him! But that attraction does not happen out of nowhere. In the beginning, attraction comes pretty easy, but as time goes on that attraction can fade unless it is fed and nurtured!
Sometimes my husband is super attractive and other times I think, I’m so tired of when you blah blah blah and why can’t you blah blah. And my husband tumbles all the way down the handsome-husband-o-meter. Just not feeling the attraction. Or the other times when he looks just, well, sorta- familiar. The same face I’ve woken up to for a long time. Oh, it’s you.
Then add in the years that go by and that we are aging whether we like it or not. Even though our youth and beauty will fade- our attraction for each other can still grow. That attraction goes well beyond our physical features! Even when we’re old and gray and way past our prime, I know my husband can still be the most good-looking guy on the planet if I nurture that love for him.
Of course how our husbands treat us change the way we look at them. It doesn’t matter how gorgeous a man is if he is unkind and disrespectful. One thing that makes Joe so attractive to me is the many ways he shows me that love and respect!
But there is much more to attraction than just how he treats me. How I treat him and how I think about him also affect how attractive he is to me.
When I spend time admiring all the things I love about him-
When I think of all the hard things we’ve been through, and that he’s still by my side-
When I listen to him and aim to hear what’s on his heart without judgment-
When I choose to serve him just to see him smile-
When I live in forgiveness and not hold things over him-
When I remember that he also sees me at my worst and still loves me-
When I look into his eyes just a little longer than usual-
When I go out of my way to compliment him,
That’s when his handsome rating goes through the roof. Suddenly, he’s a “10” and then some. Hey Good-Lookin’!!
It’s not ignoring your man’s faults. It’s choosing to not let your husband be defined by those faults and choosing to think on the good. It’s thinking about him the way I would want him to think about me!
My daughter and I recently found a vintage book from 1958 called Twixt Twelve and Twenty where Pat Boone gives advice to teens of the 50s. It was a highly entertaining read. There was one passage that we found really interesting:
She was a very pretty girl…but she let me see her in her curlers… next thing you know even when she was all fixed up I could still see those curlers and that runny nose… If you want to be attractive to boys always look your best!
I’m all for trying to look your best but when you get married that advice becomes less realistic, right? We can’t always look our best. We see plenty of each other when we are “in our curlers”. It is inevitable, but we can choose what we dwell on is where I disagree with Pat! It’s easy for me to get in that state of mind: that my husband’s less-than-attractive moments is what I think of rather than his best moments. Love and attraction grow when we believe and see the best in our spouse!
Look at your man. Look at your man the way God sees him.
He’s a man, with inherent value, made in God’s image. Every part of him was planned and designed since before he was born. That’s something to thank God for. Something to rejoice about!
Look at him like it’s the first time you laid eyes on him and you thought, wow, I would love to get to know that guy.
Look at him with gratitude. With hope for your future. Enjoy what you see!
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Phillipians 4:8 ESV