We need this life of practical romance; the combination of something that is strange with something that is secure. We need so to view the world as to combine an idea of wonder and an idea of welcome.” -G.K. Chesterton
I love this quote from Chesterton. Who would think that a 19th century philosopher could explain romance so well? Security mixed with strange. Wonder mixed with welcome.
Keeping romance alive in your marriage is merging that sense of wonder and welcome. Romance won’t grow if you don’t feel secure, which is why building trust is so important. But we also need that something strange, something surprising. We need the wonder and the WOW. That’s what makes early romance so fun: you just don’t what’s he’s going to say, what’s going to happen. But you somehow just know it will be good.
Building romance in our marriage first starts with building the security, the welcome, the trust. But for romance to grow you have to add that little bit of the unexpected. Mix things up sometimes. Find a way to add the surprise!
Sometimes it’s in the little things. I’ve been a coffee drinker since college but Joe never had any interest in joining me. We were married for almost 15 years when he said “Yes” when I half-jokingly offered him a cup of coffee one morning. (it had been an especially disruptive night with our toddler.). I was surprised, to say the least. Who are you and what have you done with my husband?? You’ll try coffee? The real surprise is when he called me a couple hours later to say that at first he didn’t like it, but by the end of the cup he thought it was good.. That was a sweet, sweet surprise and since then we’ve been enjoying a morning cup of coffee together.