I often have decisions that I delay making because I’m waiting to check with my husband. Many daily decisions I make on my own, of course, but there are certain decisions where I need Joe’s perspective first. Joe and I have often learned this the hard way: committing to plans before checking, only to find out there is a conflict. Then there is more likely to be hurt feelings when your opinions or schedule were not taken into consideration.
One of the most loving things Joe does is when he tells me he has potential plans but then says, “I wanted to check with you first before I said yes.” That is such a practical demonstration of love. He knows that the decisions he makes impact me, and vice versa. It’s asking ourselves, how will this decision impact my spouse? The only way you know is to ask!
Mutual decision making does often take more effort and time. But it’s so worth it when we both feel considered and we make decisions better with two perspectives. I often joke about Joe’s love of checking and double checking things, but in reality, I love it when he checks with me!