In my ladies Bible study last night we talked about, ”who are your people?” That question has been front and center for me, since we moved and I wasn’t sure who “my people” would be. Would I find “people?” During Covid, no less? It was a little exciting and a little scary.
My daughter and I are big Anne of Green Gables fans. One of the sweet parts about that time period was the social practice of each girl having a dance card. And the hope that some nice guy would want to claim a spot. Then the scene when Gilbert snatched Anne’s card all for himself.
Making new friends has often felt like I’m looking for someone to dance with at the ball, but everyone already has a full dance card. They already have their people, they already have plans. So as much as we may hit it off, in actuality, there will be no dancing. There are no open spots. Sorry hun!
Being the new girl you become keenly aware of this phenomenon. With marriage, you pick one, you know you’re done. Check. But friendship is way more fluid. How many friends can you have? Hard to say. How many close friends can you have? That may vary. How many friends can you have on Facebook? That’s easy, 5,000.
New friendships has been one of the ways God has surprised me with His goodness. this past year… He has brought some amazing women in to my life this past year that have open spots. Open hearts. “Do you want to join us?” And “I’d love to get together!” has been music to my soul. 🥰
If your dance card is full, and you have all the established friendships you need, awesome! But friendships are not meant to only be insular. We all know people who have their “people” but they are only interested in, well, their people. Inward-focused. The group is full. Instead we need to be adding open spots to our dance card, open to who God wants to bring into our lives.
Just like in my marriage. Even though that circle is definitely closed, the *purpose* of our marriage is not just staring into each others’ eyes. As much as I enjoy that. The purpose of our intimacy is to flow outward.
As Jess Connolly shares in her book, the goal is to surround yourself with people who will help you bring the most glory to God, not the most comfort or security to yourself. Ouch.
“But let’s also widen the circle and practice being present to the people around us to whom God may be giving is an opportunity to bless, encourage, enrich, and serve.”